


Damaged

by HalloQueen



Category: Fallout 3, Fallout 4
Genre: Action, Adventure, Chem Use, F/M, Fallout, Fallout 3 - Freeform, Fallout 4 - Freeform, Ghoul, Goodneighbor, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Raiders, Revenge, Rivalmance, Romance, Scars, Slow Burn, Sniper - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-06-17 23:25:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15472443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalloQueen/pseuds/HalloQueen
Summary: Being a raider isn’t for the feint of heart. Raven found that out the hard way. If she manages to escape with her life, who will protect her from the Nightstalkers?





	1. The Nightstalkers

The settlement below sat peaceful as could be, its residents sleeping soundly, protected by a dozen MK turrets.  
“Did you find the generator yet?” Thorne whispered, caressing my arm with the back of her hand causing me to jump from the sudden touch. I took my gaze away from my scope to give her a withering glare before returning to my work, but not before I caught her rolling her emerald green eyes.  
“Hurry the fuck up already!” Gavin hissed from over my shoulder.  
“If you keep bothering me, I’ll never find it.” I muttered between half closed lips.

Running with a band of raiders was not how I imagined my life would turn out. They called themselves the Nightstalkers. Their leader, Thorne, was a complete psycho. She wasn’t one of those ‘fighting to survive’ kind of people. Thorne wanted her victims to suffer, she wouldn’t be satisfied otherwise. Her lapdog was Gavin. A big, dumb brawler type with a head as shiny as a cue ball and a unibrow that looked like a caterpillar wiggling across his face. It was about a year or two ago that I joined up with them. I wasn’t a bloodthirsty chem addict and not much of a fighter for that matter, but they kept me around for my decent sniper ability. Usually, I just took out tough looking targets from a distance before the rest of the gang headed in. I had become a fast favorite of Thorne. Any time she headed out , she wanted me with her. She had been dropping a lot of not so subtle hints that she wanted more from me the than just my abilities with a rifle. When it came to Thorne, there was no refusing her if you valued your life.

The dimly lit lamps in the settlement gave off just enough light for me to see. The generator itself was probably inside one of the shacks, and it wasn’t likely that I’d be able to do enough damage to break it down. It didn’t matter, the pylon connecting the power to all the turrets was my real target anyway. I spotted it behind a makeshift wooden bridge. I held my breath as I took careful aim at the power line then pulled the trigger. The ensuing gunshot echoed like thunder. As it did, the gang leapt up and rushed the settlement. I stayed behind.

The screams began almost immediately, followed by heavy gunfire. I closed my eyes shut tightly, but my imagination gave me no peace. The fact that I couldn’t fight wasn’t the only reason I didn’t join in on the carnage. I couldn’t slaughter innocent people like that. Sure, I’d killed before, I wasn’t a saint, but I also wasn’t in the habit of gunning down fleeing targets. Eventually, the shooting subsided. I dared to peek through my scope to see the damage. At least a dozen bloodied forms laid motionless on the ground. Thorne and Gavin were standing in the midst of it all, their eyes looking my way. I stood, grabbing my rifle and slinging it over my shoulder before heading down into the settlement.  
“This was a cakewalk.” Thorne gloated as I approached. “Kind of disappointing they didn’t put up a real fight.” I didn’t respond, I was too busy staring at the lifeless body at Thorne’s feet. It was a young man, probably in his early twenties, with light blonde hair that was matted with his own blood. There was a bullet hole right between his eyes. “Helllooooo, Raven?”  
“Huh?” I awoke from my stupor.  
“Stop being fuckin weird and help me find supplies.” She ordered as she pushed me aside to leap into Gavin’s awaiting arms. Gavin sneered at me before turning away to join the rest of the gang. How the two them could appear so cheery in the midst of all the corpses was beyond me.

I spotted a small shack the opposite direction of the crowd and headed that way. Inside was a dimly lit room with two beds set in either corner. In the center was a wooden dresser with a small, rectangular box on top. The contents of the dresser consisted of varies items of clothing, nothing of importance. I flipped open the lid of the box to find a decently sized stash of caps, likely the homeowner’s life savings. It was odd that they’d leave a small fortune right out in the open, but I guess they had a lot of faith in their neighbors. In any case, they wouldn’t be needing it now. I swiped up the box and continued my search. The rest of the home was pretty barren. There was a table near the entrance with an assortment of barely legible books stacked atop it. On the floor next to one of the legs was an old brown teddy bear. As I reached down to pick it up, I heard a distinct shuffling sound. I spun around quickly, but the room was completely empty. Then, out of the corner of my vision I spotted a pair of big blue eyes looking at me from beneath one of the beds, the eyes of a child. I only saw him for an instant before a pair of hands appeared and pulled him back into the shadows. My eyes widened. I could have called the gangs attention to them. I know what Thorne would have wanted me to do in such a situation, but she wasn’t here. Slowly, I moved towards the bed. These people had lost enough tonight, I wasn’t going to cause them more pain. After setting the box of caps down at the foot of the bed, I walked out of the shack. 

“Did you find anything?” Thorne asked as I reappeared outside.  
“Nothing.” I replied, shaking my head. Thorne scrutinized my face, but she didn’t question me further.  
“Whatever. We found a few supplies and some caps. Everyone else is heading back, you’re coming with me.” I nodded in understanding, knowing exactly where we were going.

Diamond city: the great green jewel. We made trips there fairly regularly after hitting settlements. If the people there only knew the scum they were letting in. Thorne strutted through the city like she owned it, tossing her chocolatey brown hair over her shoulder flirtatiously as men drooled over her. It didn’t bother me one bit. The more people looking at her, the less looking at me. My straight hair, black as my namesake, covered most of my face. It’s not that I thought I was ugly, I just hated the idea that people could be looking at me. Perhaps it was because of all the people I had spied on down my scope without them having a clue. 

Thorne stopped in front of the barber shop and turned to me. “You should get a haircut,” she said, grabbing a handful of my hair and holding it up in the air, “something short. It’d be sexy.” She teased, winking at me. I shook my head. That was definitely not going to happen.  
“Maybe you should cut yours.” I countered. She looked thoughtful for a moment.  
“I’ll have to meditate on it.” I rolled my eyes at that response. Thorne wasn’t exactly deep.

I followed her to the Chem-I-Care, a usual stop for us. Solomon was in the middle of a conversation with a man decked out in full combat armor. He had an impressive looking modded rifle across his back.  
“Yea, man. Just let me know when you get those plants.” Solomon droned, giving the man a lazy smile. Before he had a chance to reply, Thorne shoved her way through to stand right in front of Solomon.  
“My favorite drug dealer. My order ready?” She side eyed the man in armor, who looked at her with irritation written all over his face.  
“Course I do, Thorne. You know I’ve got you.” Solomon replied, turning around to rummage through his supplies. He pulled out a large sack of chems and handed it over to Thorne, who in turn gave him a hefty sum of caps. With our business concluded, Thorne set her sights back on the man in combat armor.  
“What are you supposed to be? A gunner or something?” She questioned, curling her hair around her finger. The man glared are her distastefully, crossing his arms and looking her up and down.  
“What are you supposed to be? A junkie?”  
I could see Thorne’s displeasure immediately. Her lip curled back into a snarl.  
“Let me catch you outside these walls, pretty boy, and you’ll change your tone real fast.” Before this got too out of hand, I needed to step in. I wasn’t looking to get shot today. I put my hand on Thorne’s shoulder.  
“Let’s just go, we got what we came for.” Thorne looked back at me with a disapproving stare but she knew I was right. She couldn’t afford to risk being kicked out of the city permanently. Not with the level of chem addiction she suffered from. Solomon was her only reliable source to keep herself and the gang under control. Although highly agitated, Thorne backed down. She latched onto my arm and yanked me violently away. He might have won that round, but I shuddered to think of what would happen if he came face to face with the Nightstalkers in the wasteland. They weren’t in the habit of playing fair. 

“I hope you brought a tent.” Thorne said in a hushed whisper as we exited the city, “we aren’t leaving until he has a bullet in his skull.” My skin turned to ice. It wasn’t unlike Thorne to overreact to things, but it still caught me off guard.  
“What do you mean?” I dared to ask as Thorne examined the decrepit buildings all around us.  
“I mean,” she explained, “we’re going to hide up there,” she pointed to one of the windows on a high story building down the road from Diamond city’s entrance, “and when that guy comes out, you’re going to shoot him.” My jaw dropped. I had killed many people in the past, but I always tried to justify it. I was just trying to survive, and they had what I needed to do so. Killing a man just because Thorne deemed he needed to die? I couldn’t get behind that. Outright refusing her would just wind up in my own demise, I knew that.  
“Who knows how long he’ll be in there, we could be waiting for days.” I said, attempting to appeal to her sense of rationality. Thorne may have been a lot of things, but she wasn’t stupid.  
“I’m a very patient person.” She insisted. 

That was that, it seemed. We made our way carefully through the ancient structure. The building was practically a heap of rubble, every step we took on the decomposing wooden floorboards moaned as if it were alive. Any sudden movement could bring the whole thing down. I didn’t relish the idea of sitting in it for who knows how long. Thorne led the way up a flight of stairs and down a dusty old hallway. From what I could tell, the place was picked absolutely clean. Thorne didn’t bother searching the many rooms filling the place, she just went straight for the room she had pointed out from below and pushed open the door with a loud creak. The room looked like it had been used by chem addicts many years prior. Empty jet inhalers and needles littered the floor around a crusty green sleeping bag. Across from us was the window. Thorne looked at me expectantly. “Well? Go on, do your thing.” With great trepidation, I obeyed. I slung my rifle off my shoulder and set up. From this vantage point, I could see the entrance perfectly. If he came out, I would spot him for sure.

The hours dragged by as the sun rose higher into the sky. My body was dripping from sweat, not only from the heat, but from the anxiety over what I was expected to do. Thorne had not taken her own eyes away from the entrance. “I bet Gavin would look sexy in that combat armor. Don’t you think?” She asked. I grimaced. Gavin was probably the furthest thing from sexy.  
“He isn’t my type.” I muttered, to which Thorne giggled like a giddy child.  
“What is your type, then? You never show interest in anyone.”  
“I just don’t care about that stuff.” I replied, starting to get a little annoyed. There were more important things to worried about in this world than getting laid, like trying to survive. Thorne’s laughter continued.  
“I bet I could change your mind.” She moved behind me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I could feel her hot breath on my neck, sending an unpleasant shiver down my spine. Thore was a beautiful woman, but I would never be able to look passed the fact that she was completely crazy.  
“What about Gavin?” I reminded her, trying whatever I could think of to get out of the situation.  
“He could always join us.” She purred, dragging her fingertips across my chest, “we could-“ before she finished speaking, the man in the combat armor emerged from the city. My breath caught in my chest, my trigger finger trembling, “finally,” she hissed, her mood changing on an instant. She removed herself from me. “Kill him. Now.” I took careful aim at his head. Then, as if he knew I was there, he turned his head to look straight at the window.  
“H-He sees me.” I stammered, my entire body freezing. There was no way he could spot me so quickly, this area was littered with so many buildings. Yet there he was. Through my zoomed in scope, I could see his steely grey eyes locked, impossibly so, on me.  
“Who fuckin’ cares, shoot him!” Thorne demanded furiously, but her voice sounded so far off from me, I hardly heard her. Our stare down continued. He made no move for his weapon, he didn’t try to run, he just stood there. It would have been easier to take the shot had he done so, but I think he knew that. “I gave you an order! Do it now, Raven!” I couldn’t. My finger relaxed off the trigger as I lowered my gun. I gasped for air, not realizing that I’d been holding my breath.  
“I can’t do it.” I whispered. I dared to meet her icy glare. She greeted my gesture with a stinging slap. My cheek burned from the impact.  
“You’re pathetic.” Thorne spat. Apparently, the slap wasn’t enough to sate her. Balling up her hand into a tight fist, she drove it hard into my abdomen. I lurched backwards, crying out in agony. I swear I could feel one of my lower ribs cracking from the impact. Thorne grabbed a fistful of hair and forced me to look at her. “The next time I tell you to do something, don’t fucking think. Just do it.” I didn’t have any choice but to agree, unless I wanted to be beaten to death. It was in that moment that I realized I was not meant for this life. It was the second time in a day that I had been too weak to do what needed to be done. If I continued down this path, I’d be dead sooner rather than later. The kind of strength it had to be a raider, I didn’t possess. I needed to get as far away from the Nightstalkers as possible. The only trouble was figuring out how.


	2. Pushed Too Far

I managed to return to the Nightstalkers base in one piece and retreated to my room while the rest of the gang went through Thorne's goodie bag. The room wasn't actually mine, but it was where my mattress laid. There were three beds in this particular room. One was mine and the other two belonged to a pair of twins named Leo and Mira. They were nice enough as far as raiders go. Leo was a bulky guy, the kind that looked like he could carry a brahmin on his back without breaking a sweat. The fact that he was almost always popping Buffout probably helped. Mira was a sprightly woman sporting an electric blue pixie cut. Her poison was Jet, a common one among raiders.

Leo peeked up briefly from his magazine when I walked in, deep lines forming on his forehead. "You look rough." From here I could see he was reading a Grognak the Barbarian comic.  
"I'm fine." I replied in a flat tone as I shambled into the bathroom. Through the dirty, cracked mirror I could see a huge welt on the side of my face. Gingerly, I grazed it with my fingertips only to immediately retract them due to the pain that shot through my cheek. Using my fingers as a comb, I brushed my hair over to hide the damage. My dark eyes looked sunken from lack of sleep. Leo was right, I did look rough. It hardly mattered, I wasn't trying to impress anyone. Leaving the bathroom, I plopped down on my mattress, letting all the air out of my body as I did so.  
"How'd the raid go?" Leo licked his finger and turned another page in his comic.  
"How they always go," I muttered, "a lot of gunfire and dead bodies. All thanks to me." I stared at the cracking ceiling above. What was I doing with my life? I didn't belong here, I didn't even want to be here. Yet here I was, still hanging around. I missed being the girl no one even knew existed, the one that just stayed to herself in her little makeshift shack all alone. That wasn't an option for me anymore though, not after the Nightstalkers tore through the village. I suppose I was lucky Thorne was the one to find me, any of the others would have shot me on sight. She saw something in me that she liked for some reason or another.  
"Sounds like you enjoyed yourself." Leo's words were soaked in sarcasm. I sat up.  
"What have you been doing? I haven't seen you out with the gang in days."  
"You're looking at it." He winked, his lips stretching into a wide grin.

Just then, the door opened and Mira came skipping into the room. "Heya, Raven! How's it going? You good? I'm fantastic thanks!" Mira sped through her words as she hopped up and down excitedly. Her eyes were bloodshot, indicating to me that she had just been partaking in Jet. "Thorne says she wants to see you in her room, she told me to tell you," she danced around me as she spoke. For someone that was high, she was extremely graceful, with movements as smooth as flowing waters. "She said you have fiiiiive minutes!" She sang. Leo gave his sister an annoyed glance.  
"Can't she leave Raven alone for one second?" He closed his magazine and tossed it to the floor before striding over to me. "Listen, if Thorne gives you trouble," he paused to offer his hand. I took it as he helped me to my feet. "just know I've got your back. Thorne's been getting a little too big for her britches, you know?" It sounded to me like Leo was looking for a reason to turn on Thorne. Not an uncommon thing to happen in raider gangs. There have been a few attempts from other members to dethrone Thorne. The fact that she was still the leader showed how well that went for those individuals. I was fairly sure their heads were still on pikes around here somewhere.  
"Thanks." The last thing I wanted to do was get Leo into a bad situation. He was one of the good ones. I nodded to him before quickly leaving the room.

Thorne's quarters were on the top floor of the building, which meant a lot of stair climbing. I was uncertain of what this building could have been before the war, possibly a hotel or a business office. It wasn't a bad spot for a gang to hold up, although it was in the heart of super mutant territory. No one else seemed too concerned about that. I approached the door to Thorne's room and quietly knocked. There was no response. I considered going back to my room, but thought better of it. If Thorne wanted to see me, it was best to not keep her waiting. Slowly, I opened the door.

What I saw was something I could have happily gone a lifetime without. There laid Gavin, stark naked and sprawled out on a black sheet king bed. His hands and legs were restrained by leather bindings. Thorne was straddled on top of him, her bare breasts glistening with sweat as she moved up and down. "I'll come back later." I blanched, averting my eyes, ready to dash back out the door.  
"No, stay. I wanted. To talk. To you." Thorne spoke through rapid breaths.  
"This doesn't really seem like the time." I said flatly, staring down at the dusty floorboards. I could hear Gavin mutter something under his breath as the squeaking of the mattress came to a stop.  
"Spoil sport," Thorne whined. She leapt off the bed, and glided over to me, grabbing hold of my face, forcing me to look at her as pain shot through my cheek. "You know you're always welcome to join us. Gavin has great stamina." She gave me a wicked grin as she caressed her curves. I could think of one hundred things I'd rather do than come into contact with any part of Gavin's body.  
"I'll pass." I replied as politely as I could manage. Thorne's brows furrowed as her mouth drew into a thin line.  
"Fine." She pouted. "That's not why I called you here anyway." She sashayed over to a metal desk with a pair of shorts and a black tube top which she promptly dawned. Gavin, who was still tied to the bed, cleared his throat loudly. Thorne glanced his way for a brief moment. "I'll be back for you later." Then she waltzed out of the room. I followed Thorne back down to the bottom floor of the building. The fact that she wanted me to go all the way to her room first in an attempt to get something out of me was more than a little irksome. She had been getting much more persistent as of late.

The rest of the gang was still lazing about in the living area. Several were stretched out on the various couches, fast asleep. In the center of the room, they'd set up an arm wrestling competition. There was a square metal table with a large stack of caps off to one side. A woman with a shaved head and enormous scar down the side of her cheek faced off against a man with a bowl cut and fidgety eyes. A large crowd formed around them, cheering loudly. Thorne ignored them all and continued moving until she came to the door to the basement. She grabbed the key from the wall and unlocked the door. I had never been into the basement before but I knew that when Thorne decided to take prisoners, for whatever reason, they would be brought here. Not a comforting thought as I headed down into the dark, dank chamber with her.

When we reached the bottom, Thorne flipped a switch to reveal a room filled with cages. They were all empty except one. Inside were two individuals, a young man with ratty red hair and a pale complexion as well as a little girl with impossibly large blue eyes. The girl was clinging tight to a stuffed bear. Recognition dawned on me, but I had to stop myself from showing any signs that I knew who they were as Thorne looked back at me with a twisted grin. "One of our boys caught them trying to steal our supplies."  
"That stuff belongs to us! You stole it!" The young man snapped, his hands clenching the bars of his prison. The little girl stayed quiet, but kept her gaze locked on me. I averted my own eyes from her, allowing my hair to fall over my face. I couldn't stand having people stare at me.  
"So you do speak." Thorne quirked a brow as she circled the cage like a deathclaw readying for its attack. "Good. I like it better when they can beg for their life." She purred, resting her hand on my shoulder.  
"They're just kids." I blanched. I knew Thorne was a horrible person, but this was an all new level of retched.  
"That'll just make it easier for you, Ravey-poo! You use the little ones to gain confidence, then move on to something bigger." She spoke about people like they were nothing more than cattle to be slaughtered. She pursed her lips, contemplating. "It'll be easier with just one."

She moved to a table covered in all shapes and sizes of knifes, saws, needles, and guns, most of which were splattered with dried blood. The thought of how many people must have suffered at the hands of those instruments of torture sent a chill down my spine. She picked out a small pistol and offered it to me. "Time to be a big girl." She gave me a meaningful look. "You get to decide."  
"You want me to shoot kids?" I questioned, my blood turning to ice in my veins. My breath began coming in short, shallow gasps as my vision flitted between the two prisoners and Thorne. The girl's eyes, they were unblinking. It was as if she was looking into my very soul, judging it of it's worth. "I can't do that!" I cried. Thorne's displeasure was written very clearly on her face. She yanked my hand forward and forced me to take hold of the gun.  
"See? Just like this, now you just aim and shoot whichever you like." She beamed. The young man pushed his sister behind him and glared maliciously at me. The entire thing felt surreal. I couldn't believe any of it was actually happening. She couldn't force me to do this, I wouldn't do it. I let the gun fall harmlessly to the floor. "If you don't choose one, they'll both die!" Thorne roared, swiping the gun up and pointing it my way. "Maybe I'll kill you too."

My eyes went as wide as saucers. "Please, Thorne." I begged, my voice cracking, "don't do this." Thorne lowered the gun and let out a loud sigh.  
"Ravey-poo, I'm doing this to  _help_ you! Here," she took hold of me once more and moved behind me, securing her hand over mine as she wrapped my finger over the trigger and pointed it at the man. "We can do it together." She whispered in my ear. No, please no, I thought. I had to stop this somehow, I couldn't just let these people die. I opened my mouth to speak out against her, I tried with all my might to move, but my body was frozen. No words came out from my open mouth, just a gust of air as Thorne forced my finger to pull the trigger. The young man's body jerked violently as a hole appeared in his chest, coloring his white shirt a crimson red. He fell to the ground in a heap. The girl came into our view once more. Her face was as white as a ghost as she stared down at the lifeless body before her.  
"Ben?" She rasped, barely audible. When the young man made no move to reply, the little girl's face contorted in pain, falling in a heap on him as sobs wracked her entire body. I watched the whole thing in agony as Thorne released me. "See, that wasn't so bad." Thorne said, giving me a nudge. I shook my head, still fixated on the scene before me.  
"You're a monster." I whispered.  
"Oh please," Thorne sneered, "you kill people all the time. Don't try to act like you're not a piece of shit like the rest of us. Get over yourself already." She was wrong. I wasn't like her at all, because I was a coward. Anyone else would have stopped her, but I just let it happen. I was too afraid of getting myself killed to help a defenseless person. I should be the one laying in a pool of my own blood, but here I stood. "That's good enough for today I guess. You did good, sweetie." Thorne intentionally patted my injured cheek, a sadistic smirk crossing her lips for a moment as she did. The twinge of pain brought me back to myself. "Tomorrow is the real fun." Thorne beamed before guiding me out of the basement, leaving the poor little girl to sit alone in the dark, still sobbing over the mans body.

I returned to my room in a daze, not even noticing Leo and Mira greeting me. Laying down on my bed, I curled into a ball, squeezing my eyes tight to keep the tears from rushing out. Tomorrow would be ten times worse, I thought. Thorne was going to make me torture that little girl to death. I could beg and plead with her all I wanted but it wouldn't stop it from happening. There was no hope for her. I felt the pressure of someone coming to sit by my side, but I made no move to acknowledge them.  
"You alright?" It was Leo's concerned voice. I merely shook my head. "What did she do to you?" Although I didn't see him, I could tell he asked through gritted teeth. I lifted myself up.  
"Thorne is going to make me do something terrible tomorrow." I moped. Leo crossed his massive arms and scoffed.  
"Don't give me that load of crap. You're your own person, Thorne doesn't control you."  
"If I don't do what she wants, she'll kill me." I explained, shrugging my shoulders.  
"Is it really worth living if it means you have no say in your own life?"

I guess he had a point. Listening to Thorne granted me one more day of survival, but what was that really worth any more? I was being turned into exactly what she wanted, she was slowly shaping and molding me the way she saw fit. Tomorrow wouldn't be the end, it was the beginning of more brutality to come. I realized that. I was sitting at a crossroad then and there. One path lead to my survival as long as I kept pleasing Thorne, the other lead to my freedom, not just for me, but for the little blue eyed girl as well. It could also mean my death. The choice needed to be made: remain a puppet the rest of my miserable life, or take a chance at actually living, not just surviving. "I think I know what I need to do." I was going to have to figure out how to get that little girl out of the hideout without anyone seeing.  
"How can I help?" Leo asked, the corner of his mouth twitching. I didn't want to get him involved in any of it. If something ended up happening to him because of me, I'd never forgive myself.  
"I've always liked you, Leo. You're a good friend." I patted him gently on the back. For a raider, he was pretty smart. He gave me a confused look then rolled his eyes.  
"Okay, weirdo. Just let me know, I guess."  
"Whatcha guys talking about?" Mira chimed in from the other side of the room. She was standing on her hands, peering our way upside down. Mira wasn't like Leo, she was fiercely loyal to Thorne. I couldn't risk her letting slip any of this.  
"None of your business." Leo griped. He grabbed hold of the first piece of junk he could find, in this case a broken alarm clock, and chucked it at her. Mira moved to cover her face but collapsed to the ground instead.  
"Jackass!" She spat as she scrambled back to her feet. The two began wrestling in the middle of the floor. I looked passed them out the open window. The sun was starting to set, if I was really going to save the girl and myself, I'd have to act soon.


	3. We're All Bad Here

Night time fell over the hideout. Moonlight poured in from the open window, casting a luminescent glow on everything it touched. The base sat quietly, and both Mira and Leo appeared fast asleep. Slowly, I shimmied to the edge of my bed, trying to keep the rusty old springs from squeaking excessively. As my bare feet came in contact with the warm floor, a voice cut through the silence. “You’re up late.” Leo turned his head my way, eyeballing me with suspicion. 

“I... I just needed some air.” I stammered over a quick explanation. Leo seemed unconvinced as he rose from his bed.

“Hey, I may be a meat head, but give me a little credit.” He pushed his long brown hair out of his face as he stood and walked over to the window. “Nice night.” I went to his side and could see a few raiders patrolling the road in front of our building, their weapons resting causally in their hands. They rarely had to use them, after all. It was a pretty well known fact that the Nightstalkers made their home in the area, so we didn’t often have to worry about people stumbling upon us. “So what are you planning?” Leo set his black eyes my way. I didn’t reply, keeping my attention on the outside world. “You don’t trust me.”

I bit my lip. “I just don’t want to involve you, that’s all.” I explained. Leo raised a hand to rest on my shoulder, but decided against it halfway through the action. He understood my boundaries, unlike other members of the gang. “I have to leave.”

“Figured as much.” He shrugged. “You’re a terrible raider.” I wasn’t sure if I should take that as an insult or a compliment. He heaved a sigh, looking downcast. “Just be careful.”

“Why don’t you come with me?” I offered. 

A short laugh escaped him as he turned back to me. He looked me over fondly and for the first time, I didn’t shy away. I truly did want him to come along. Not only was I afraid of being on my own, but I cared for Leo. Of all the raiders, he was the only one to treat me like I was a real person. He pushed my hair out of my face, his hand resting gingerly on my sore cheek. I felt no pain from his gentle touch. Then he shook his head. “I can’t.” 

“Why?” 

He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he let his hand fall to his side and went back to staring out the window. “Raven, you’re not like the rest of these guys. Inside, you’re all good. Me, on the other hand, I’m just like them. I’m a bad guy.” 

“I don’t think-“ I began, but he cut me off bitterly.

“Trust me, Raven. I read a lot of comics, I know how this goes. The bad guy does not get the girl.” I could feel the intensity in his words. His nostrils flared. “That goes for Thorne, and it goes for me too.” We stood there in silence, neither of us really knowing what else to say. I wanted to argue back with him, to tell him that he was wrong. I truly believed that Leo was a good person, but I doubted that anything I said would change his mind. He exhaled deeply before returning to his bed.

I quietly put on my boots, grabbed my rifle and my bag, then took my leave. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Leo for I hadn’t given it much thought until that moment. I’d never been in love, and I didn’t think I loved Leo. There must have been something there, for as I walked out the door, I couldn’t stop myself from peering back into the room, my eyes resting on his prone from. He made no move to acknowledge me, and that stung a bit. Slowly, I shut the door.

There was no time for self pity now, I had to move. The supply room was on the other side of the living area where half a dozen raiders were fast asleep. With how many empty booze and chem containers were strewn about, I doubted that they’d be waking up any time soon. Still, I remained cautious as I made my way across the room. The floor boards beneath my feet squealed with every step I took, which to me was deafeningly loud. It was my own paranoia that kept me moving at a snails pace. I could have stomped to my destination with metal boots and remained undetected. 

The moment I reached the supply room, I began filling my pack with food, water, and medical supplies then swiftly moved to the basement door. My hand lingered in the air above the knob. This was the moment of no return. Beyond that door was the key to an entirely new life for me. It would be a lie to say that I wasn’t afraid, and it took every ounce of courage I could muster to bring my hand to the cold copper handle, grasp it, and turn. 

Dank air assaulted my nostrils as the door creaked open and I entered. I couldn’t see a thing. During the day, enough light poured in from the living area to at least outline the stairs. I allowed my other senses to guide me down the old steps into the depths of the basement. When the stairs ended, I fumbled around for the switch against the wall. Instead of finding  brick, my hands came into contact with something warm and soft. I could feel whatever it was slowly moving up and down. My entire body froze. 

The resounding sound of a flipping switch echoed in my ears and the room was bathed in light. My hands rested on a wide, bare chest. A massive scar ran vertically between the pectorals. I drew back, repulsed. I recognized the mark immediately and knew who it belonged to without having to look at his smug face. “What have we here?” Gavin blustered. He yanked the pack off my shoulder, causing my rifle to fall to the floor in the process. He unzipped the bag, and looked over the contents. “Guess Mira was tellin’ the truth.”

“How disappointing.” A second voice chimed in. I didn't have to guess who the speaker was. Her steady approach was marked by the loud clicking of her boots. “You’ve put me in such a predicament, Ravey.” She drew nearer with each word she spoke. 

Gavin held out his arms wide and attempted to catch me in a bear hug, but I hopped quickly backwards. In doing so, I had unwittingly rammed into Thorne, who had been much closer to me than I’d realized. I heard a sickening crunch as the back of my head smashed against her face. She cried out as we toppled to the floor. I didn’t have time to recover myself before Gavin was hoisting me up, grabbing both of my arms and forcing them behind my back. Thorne, who was still on the ground, began to rise slowly, her hair hanging in front of her. A deep, menacing growl escaped from her chest, rising in volume as she regained her footing. By the time she was standing upright, her growl had turned into a shriek to rival that of a banshee. I could feel the sound ricocheting through my entire body down to my very core. I tried to break free from Gavin’s grip but he held firm, not giving an inch.

Thorne pulled her hair back, exposing her face which was now matted with blood from her nose. Her eyes went wide as she brought up her hand and dragged her fingers across her lips. Then she pulled them away to stare at her now crimson fingertips. She laughed curtly at first, then abruptly broke into hysterics as she crept toward me. “Big mistake, my sweet little Ravey.” Her mouth twisted into a sinister grin that stretched from ear to ear. I had witnessed terrible things happening at the hands of Thorne, and she had always began them with a similar smile. This time was different. There was more malice behind her burning eyes than I had ever seen before, and I was genuinely afraid. 

She began to pace. “When did you grow a spine anyway? Risking your life for that?” She pointed to the cage in the center of the room. Inside, the little girl sat, her enormous, unblinking eyes fixated on the action. When her attention fell on me, I had to hang my head in shame. 

Thorne grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked, forcing me to look at her. “I can’t let this one go. Can’t just kill you and be done with it either. Everyone says I’m too soft on you.” Her eye twitched. “Do you know what happens to weak leaders, Ravey-poo?” She shouted the question inches away from my face, the heat of her breath assaulting me. I did know what happened to them. They were taken out by people like her. “Guess we’ll have to make an example of you, won’t we.” 

Thorne spun away and bounded up the stairs, motioning for Gavin to follow her. Gavin’s grip on my arms tightened as he forced me forward. I tried to fight him off, or at least to make his task as difficult as possible. When we reached the stairs, I kept my legs straight as boards, refusing to walk up the steps on my own. I could hear Gavin grinding his teeth as he tossed me from side to side. “Stop fighting me, bitch!” He growled. In response, I brought my foot down with all my might, slamming it onto the tip of his boot. He howled in pain, his hold on my arms lessening enough for me to slip away from him. Having no where else to go, I bolted up the stairs. I only managed to take a few steps before Gavin was upon me once more. He wrapped his arms around my waist and heaved me into the air.

“Get off of me!” I screamed, my arms and legs flailing wildly in every direction as Gavin guided me out of the basement.

The raiders had already begun to gather in the living room, roused by Thorne’s piercing voice. “Nightstalkers!” She cried. “Someone’s been a bad girl tonight!” In reply, the raiders hooted and jeered. On the other side of the room, I saw a door creak open and Leo’s head stick out. When his attention fell on me, his jaw dropped. “I think our sweet Raven needs to go confess her sins. What do you guys say to a little field trip?” The raiders cheered with approval, throwing their fists in the air. I had always known that many of my brethren didn’t care much for me, but I was taken aback by the lack of hesitation by any of them. The only one not shouting his head off was Leo, who had turned as pale as a ghost. Everyone understood the meaning behind Thorne’s words. It wasn’t the first time she had made a reference to the old church that stood not too far from here. It was one of Thorne’s favorite places to execute those unfortunate enough to cross her. 

Thorne instructed two other raiders to assist Gavin, then began leading the procession out of the base and onto the streets. Gavin kept hold of my arms, while the other men took hold of my legs and followed behind the horde. I found myself staring up at the night sky as I was carried off to my death. The stars shone with a brilliance I had never truly appreciated until that moment. Perhaps it was because it would likely be the last time I would see them. I didn’t even have anything to show for it either. The little girl would likely die in that cage, forgotten, or be tortured to death by Thorne. Leo would go on abusing Buffout, likely until his heart gave out. The world would continue on as if I never existed in it. I lived my life as a nobody and that was exactly how I would die. 

When we made it inside the church, Gavin and the others let me fall in a heap, stirring up the dust from the floor all around me. As I sucked in a breath, the dander entered my lungs, causing me to cough uncontrollably. “Tie her here.” Thorne demanded and I was immediately lifted back up. 

I took the time to examine my surroundings. I was being led up a set if steps to where a weathered lectern stood alone. The lower level was lined with pews which were being filled by the Nightstalkers, eager to begin the show. Leo was among them, his jaw clenched tightly as he stared daggers at the other side of the benches where his sister was taking her seat. Mira didn’t even look like she knew what planet she was on, staring blankly at the old decrepit walls around her. 

Gavin shoved me backwards against the stand as the other two men secured my arms and legs around it with rope. Thorne examined their work, tugging on each individual cord before coming to stand before me, dry blood caked on her face. “Raven, Raven, Raven.” She began, shaking her head disappointed as she pressed her hands against her hips. “I took you in. Gave you a purpose, a family. You didn’t just betray me tonight.” She held her chest, as if she had a heart that could ache at all. “You betrayed them.” She gestured to the crowd with an open hand. The Nightstalkers booed and hissed, some sent a few rude hand gestures my way as well. “Do you have anything to say to them?” 

I had seen the whole routine play out before. Thorne would get me to explain my betrayal, beg for forgiveness, then she would kill me. The method varied. Sometimes it was a simple gunshot to the head, maybe a knife to the throat. It didn’t matter what I said, death was always the outcome. Knowing that, why should I even bother giving Thorne the satisfaction of playing along with her game? I had let her walk all over me from the moment she met me, but I was finished obeying her. She could kill me, but I wasn’t going to die groveling like she wanted. “Fuck you.” Gathering all the saliva in my mouth, I spat at her. 

She reeled back, wiping vigorously at her face as she screamed in outraged. Tearing a knife from her belt, she pressed the blade hard against my flesh. “You think you’re tough all the sudden? You’re not fooling me.” She hissed. “I know you better than you know yourself.” The knife fell away from my neck as Thorne turned to face her audience. “Raven: the raider above reproach. You think you have the moral high ground on everyone in this room.”  That brought out a few chuckles from the crowd. “But if anything, you’re worse than all of us. Because you’re delusional. We are all pieces of shit, and we know that. But you? You like to hide behind this idea that you’re actually a good person. You’re a coward, and you mistake cowardice for morality.” 

Several raiders nodded in agreement as her words sunk in. Was that really all I was? Did spending my life hiding behind a scope causing me to become delusional? I didn’t want to believe anything that monster said, but I found myself finding her argument hard to refute. Was I just another monster, hiding behind a mask? “You all know Raven as our crack shot sniper but many of you don’t know that she has one fatal flaw.” Thorne held up a single digit. “She freezes up completely if her target looks her way.” Thorne turned back to me, her face darkened. “I think we should help Raven face her fear of being stared at.” Thorne grabbed a fistful of fabric from my shirt. In one fell swoop, she sent the knife down, tearing my top in half. The raiders hooted their approval as Thorne continued by ripping my pants into tatters. 

I stood there, frozen in horror as two dozen pairs of eyes devoured my underwear clad body. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks as I turned my head away from their gazes. Even without seeing them, I could still sense their eyes on me. To make matters worse, I felt the icy touch of Thorne’s hands moving from my navel upward until she rested them on the straps of my bra. I brought my attention to her face. “Please, stop.” I begged. She licked her lips hungrily before yanking the cover away. The raiders whistled in approval as my bare chest came into view. Why couldn’t she just kill me already? I would have gladly welcomed death over this humiliation. Tears threatened to pour from my eyes. “Let me go!” I pleaded, fighting against my bonds, which only brought on more cheers. 

“You should be thanking me, Ravey. I’m helping you break out of your shell!” Thorne purred, caressing one of my breasts with her hands. My body quivered in disgust at her touch. “Hate being touched too, right? I think Gavin can help with that more than I can.” No, I thought, not Gavin. He was the last person I wanted anywhere near me. Thorne snapped her fingers and Gavin materialized at her side. He looked me up and down with contempt and I felt overcome with nausea. I didn’t want him to look at me, and I definitely didn’t want him touching me. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to die already. “He acts uninterested, but I know how he really feels. Besides that, he’s never taken a virgin before.” 

I felt the blood drain from my face. Never had I thought that Thorne would go that far. I felt acid rising in my throat as I spoke. “I’d rather die.” 

“Have a little fun for once, Ravey!” Thorne cackled. She dragged her fingers across Gavin’s shoulder and purred, “He’s very good.”

A sinister grin appeared on Gavin’s face, his unibrow dipping low between his eyes as he advanced on me. His hand latched on to the last bit of clothing that remained on my body and pulled. The underwear tore in two, then fell to the ground. There was another round of pleased howls from the Nightstalkers. I tried forcing my legs shut but the rope held me firmly in place. I ceased my struggle momentarily to catch my breath. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, it felt as if it would explode with the next beat. “Keep bouncing around like that. I like it.” Gavin breathed, his hand rubbing against the lump in his pants. 

He brought his hand to the zipper and began to pull it down just as booming voice overpowered the jeering sounds of the crowd. “That’s enough!” Everyone went quiet.

Gavin, Thorne and I all looked to the source and found Leo standing from his seat, his face contorted with rage. I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for the interruption. At the same time, I feared the repercussions Leo would face. I never wanted him involved in this, regardless of how bad it got. Thorne tapped her lip with a delicate finger. “Leo? I’m surprised with you.”

“Can it, Thorne. This has gone far enough.” Leo declared, shoving his way passed the raiders to join us on the platform. As he did, every Nightstalker rose to their feet, weapons appearing in their hands, though Leo continued to advance anyway.

Thorne’s mouth drew into a thin line. “You’ve always been an asset, Leo. Don’t throw all that away now by going soft on some girl.” Leo glared at Thorne with nothing but pure hatred. His eyes flickered to me briefly, but he didn’t allow them to linger.

“Let her go.” 

“You know that’s not happening, Leo.” Thorne replied, nonchalantly dusting off her shoulders. “Why don’t you go on back to the hideout, get yourself some Buffout from the stash and relax. You’re not yourself when you’re strung out. I know you’ve been trying to kick it.” The revelation was a surprise to me. I had no idea that Leo was trying to stop using. Why hadn’t he told me? 

Leo scratched the back of his head as his eyes fell to the floor. Thorne always knew what to say to get what she wanted. He clenched his fists, regaining himself. “I said let her go.” 

Thorne’s eyes flashed. “Now you’ve upset me, little lion.” She looked as if she was ready to lunge at him, but she paused, pressing her hands together and bringing them to the bridge of her nose for a moment. She blew out a mouthful of air. “I’m going to do you a huge favor to help you get passed this.” She reached into her pocket and removed several small baggies, picked one out and then replaced the rest. Digging through it, she pulled out a small green pill with her thumb and forefinger and dangled it in front of Leo’s face. Leo watched the Buffout pill swinging back and forth before him. The struggle he was feeling was tangible. The veins in his arms bulged as he strained to keep his composure. “Take it.” Thorne insisted. Shakily, Leo’s hand rose.

Before he could grab it, Thorne snatched the pill back. “Not so fast.” She said. “First, you need to get this infatuation out of your system. It’s not good for you.” Thorne eyed me with a sideways smile. “Take Gavin’s place.” Gavin’s look of surprise mirrored my own. A blush stained my cheeks. I just wanted to die already, why did we have to proceed with these games?

Leo straightened. “What?”

Thorne whipped around, staring to lose her patience once again. “Do I have to spell it out for you?” She threw up her hands. “Take his place. Fuck her. Get it out of your system.” Leo’s brows rose. “I’ll make this super easy for you.” Thorne snapped her fingers and two raiders appeared behind Leo and attempted to restrain him.

With him engrossed in fighting off her men, Thorne dashed towards him. “Look out!” I shouted in warning, but it was too late. A syringe appeared in Thorne’s hand as she dove forward and jammed the needle into his arm, releasing its contents.

Leo stared in horror at the needle protruding from him. “What did you d-“ He didn’t finish his question. Whatever had been in that syringe, it was taking effect quickly. Every muscle in his face relaxed. A long, languid sigh escaped him as his shoulders fell. The two men that had been grappling with him looked to one another knowingly, then backed away.

“I gave you freedom from your conscious! A little jet, a smidgen of psycho and of course a few secret ingredients of my own.” Thorne giggled as she shoved an angry Gavin to the side and pulled Leo to stand before me. “Life is so much more fun when you live off instincts instead of worrying about things like other people’s feelings.” The Nightstalkers began their cheers with renewed vigor. 

The man standing before me wasn’t Leo. His hands clenched and unclenched at his side as he devoured me hungrily with his gaze. I had never seen him look that way. “It also makes one hell of an aphrodisiac.” Thorne directed the comment at me with a wink. She rested her hand between my legs and rubbed gently, her eyes locked on Leo. My skin bristled from her touch. Though I knew it was to no avail, I couldn’t help but try to squirm away from her. “She’s all yours, Leo. Try not to break her.” She snickered, gliding out of sight.

Leo’s lips parted as his lust filled eyes fixated on my chest. He grabbed hold of my breasts, squeezing aggressively as he did so, causing me to whimper in pain. “Leo, please.” I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore and they began to roll freely down my face. It was like I was watching the Leo I had called a friend die right before me. His calloused hand brushed the hair away from my face as he slipped a finger into my mouth. I immediately spat it back out, the somewhat salty taste of his flesh still lingering on my tongue. He smirked before he brought his lips down on mine and forced his tongue into my mouth and moved it around fervently. At the same time, his hand glided down my body and between my legs. 

Without warning, he shoved his finger inside me. I jerked my head back, breaking away from his kiss to gasp for air. I felt a tremor shoot through me as he moved his finger up and down. I desperately continued my losing fight with my bindings. Leo didn’t seem phased by my thrashing at all, it was as if he didn’t even notice it.

After a moment, he slid his finger back out. Then I felt the tip of his erection press against me. The Nighstalkers were practically in a frenzy now. Their shouts began turning into white noise as the world around me blurred. His ecstasy filled eyes met mine. “S-stop Leo, please!” My voice cracked, and uncontrollable sob escaping my throat. He was a good guy inside, I knew he was. He couldn’t let Thorne beat him, he had had to snap out of this stupor at any moment because he was the strongest one among us. I begged him, pleaded with him.

He stared right into my eyes as he shoved himself inside me. Something within me snapped. My mouth opened wide as a wail of pure misery poured out. My head fell back against the lectern as I wept, my entire body aching as Leo drove into me again and again. It was as if I was being ripped in two. I could feel the blood running down my legs, my insides throbbing in pain. It was nothing compared to the agony I felt in my heart. I was utterly broken. There was nothing I wanted more than to welcome death.

I didn’t know how long Leo went on. To me, it felt as if time had frozen. I simply sat there, my tears continuing to fall until there were none left. “Alright, that’s enough!” I heard Thorne shout. “I said enough!” There was a loud thump before I felt the pressure ease from my body. “Get him back to the base.” She commanded as she pulled my head back up. I stared at her through glazed, half closed lids. “Not so tough now.” She smirked. The Nightstalkers were all in the process of shuffling out the door. Only Thorne remained behind. “It’s been fun, Ravey.” Thorne took a few steps back, gesturing to the massive flamer hanging from straps around her shoulders. “But now it’s time to say goodbye.” 

At last, I thought as I shut my eyes, waiting to feel the flames. When they never came, I ventured another look. Thorne had moved to the lower level, her back facing me. She aimed the weapon at one of the buildings support beams. There came a clicking sound before a stream of fire spewed forth from the nozzle. In mere seconds, the room became a raging inferno, fire creeping steadily to the high ceiling. With a sinister laugh, Thorne bounded back to the lectern, planted a wet kiss on my bruised cheek, then sprinted for the church’s exit. 

All around me, the flames drew nearer. The shoddy wooden ceiling creaked loudly against the assault. A plank broke free, plummeting to the ground only a few feet away. I screamed as it crashed to the floor, sending tiny embers flying everywhere. 

The smoke began to thicken, filling my lungs. With renewed fear, I pulled fiercely against my bonds, my ankles and wrists bleeding from the friction. There came another loud crack. I looked up just in time to see a fiery plank falling straight for me. It crashed down onto my shoulder, sending a shockwave of pain through me and singeing my flesh. My cries echoed off the walls as I tried to get the burning wood off me, the flames licking at my neck. After much effort, I managed to shake the plank onto the floor, though it brought little relief. My skin still felt as if it was boiling.

With each passing second, it was becoming more impossible to breath. The air was dense with smoke, and the flames surrounded me. I took solace in the fact that, in one way or another, it would all be over soon. All the hurt in my body and in my heart would cease and I would finally be able to die. I could feel myself fading away.

Then, my binding began to loosen. I felt the touch of some unknown entity as I was lifted into the air. My senses were so diluted, I couldn’t be certain whether it was real, or a dream.


	4. The Line

I wasn’t sure what was happening. I weaved in and out of consciousness the entire time. The sound of crackling fire echoed in my ears long after I was carried away from the church. Something light and airy was draped across my naked flesh. As it came in contact with my shoulder, I winced. The pain in my body was as intense as the raging inferno that had almost swallowed me, but I was too weak to cry out. I simply sat there in silent agony. Breathing was nearly impossible. Even my lungs felt scorched. Short, shallow gasps was all I could manage.

Even if I wanted to attempt to fight off the mysterious individual carrying me away, I wouldn’t be able to summon the strength. There was something about them assuring me that I was safe. It could have been the smell coming off their skin. The scent itself was hard to place. It was something earthy, fresh and pleasant. I had never known a raider who didn’t smell like alcohol or death. I inhaled their scent, allowing myself to drift as I was whisked away by this stranger.

 

——-

 

Nate carried the woman in his arms, the neon sign in the distance growing ever larger was his beacon. She was incredibly lucky he’d been in the area as the church went up in flames. Though he doubted the Railroad would be too thrilled to find out that one of their exits was now covered by rubble, they could take solace in the fact that this woman knew who was responsible. That was assuming she lived. He had done his best to reach the town quickly. It was a task easier said than done with the number of super mutants roaming around, especially so late into the night. He couldn't afford to get into a firefight, and stealth meant moving slower than what would have been ideal in such an emergent situation. Regardless, his trip was at last over.

He pushed open the rusted metal door into Goodneighbor. Even at this hour, the town was bustling. Nate weaved through the streets down a small walkway between two buildings then took a sharp left. He came upon The Third Rail, a few of it’s patrons stumbling out onto the street. The scent of booze and smoke wafted through the air as the double door flung open once more and the mayor himself appeared. 

Hancock swaggered over and fell into step with his good friend. “How’s it hangin’, Nate?” His eyes, dark as an abyss, fell on the woman. He inhaled sharply through his teeth as he examined the singed flesh starting on her cheek, then running down her shoulder passed the blanket that covered her. “Friend of yours?”

“I saw her the other day in Diamond City.” Nate replied, recalling the event to his memory. She had seemed nice enough from what he had gathered, up until the point where she was about to shoot him. Of course, she hadn't actually done it, so that at least had to count for something. He never thought he would wind up running into her again after that. They approached the Memory Den, it’s red neon blaring bright. A cool breeze blew passed them as they stepped through the doors. Egg shaped pods lined the walls, each one filled with poor souls reliving fleeting moments of happiness in their lives. Nate had considered trying out one of the pods himself, but thought better of it. The last thing he wanted to do was become one of the regulars of the place. Their cheeks were sunken, the skin under their eyes drooping low and their faces were utterly devoid of emotion. The way they existed, they could hardly even be considered alive. Nate understood their sorrow. Even he didn’t know if he would be strong enough to leave after seeing his wife’s face again.

He and Hancock headed down the old stairs to Dr Amari’s quaint clinic. Although she was an excellent doctor, there was never much need of her medical services in Goodneighbor. Most of the time, people weren’t so careless as to leave their victims alive. 

Dr Amari was sitting behind a metal desk, her eyes glued to a textbook. She looked up as the men reached the bottom of the steps. Her mouth fell open as she took in the sight of the battered woman. “Goodness.” She breathed, sitting the book aside and rising from her desk. “Lay her down.” Nate did as the doctor requested, gently resting the woman on the operating table. Amari raised the blanket draped over the woman just enough to examine the extent of the damage. Her eyes drifted from the hideous burn trailing down one side of her body, to the woman’s lower half which was matted in lines of dried blood. Her face fell. “Oh.” She whispered, carefully replacing the blanket and lifting her attention to address the men. “I need to act quickly. If you would kindly wait upstairs.” She dismissed them with a wave of her hand. The men promptly departed, leaving Dr Amari to her work. 

 

—————-

 

I drifted back into consciousness. My mind felt fuzzy, the pain in my body was still very prevalent but it had been numbed slightly. I was laying flat against a soft mattress, which creaked and moaned as I groggily squirmed around. There was a quiet, consistent beeping sound echoing through the room, the pattern matching its pace with my beating heart. Though my eyes protested against it, I managed to open my heavy lids. There was a woman dressed in white standing by my side with a kind smile on her red lips, though her attention was elsewhere. “It appears the anesthesia is beginning to wear off.” She noted. I attempted to raise myself into a sitting position, but the woman reached out a hand to stop me. “Please, you mustn’t move around unnecessarily.” As she spoke, a shock wave of pain flew down the side of my body. I grit my teeth and eased myself back down. “I’m doctor Amari, I’ve been tending to your burns, and have also performed some blood work and tested for STD’s.”

“STDs?” I repeated drearily, my head still spinning.

 “It’s a standard procedure for victims of rape.” Amari replied hesitantly. “Do you remember what happened?” Her dark brows turned upward with concern as she examined my face. 

A myriad of emotions raced through me. My chest began to rise and fall rapidly as memories came flooding back. “Why am I alive?” I rasped. My hand rising shakily to my burning throat. Instead of skin, I felt a rubbery tube resting against my neck. I followed it up to my face, then to my nose. “What is this?”

“It’s alright.” The doctor assured me, resting her hand against mine. “You’re safe here.”

I was supposed to be dead. Was this just another one of Thorne’s games? Maybe she’d decided that my fate just wasn’t good enough, that I needed to suffer just a bit longer. My chest grew tight, bile rising in my throat. That annoying beeping sound was growing louder and more fervent, ricocheting off the walls and assaulting my senses over and over. My mind was spinning so fast it was making it difficult to breath.

Against the protests of Dr Amari, I shoved her away and pushed myself up to examine my body. I was in some kind of white, papery dress, a small tube was taped to my arm, clear liquid slowly making its way into my bloodstream. Knowing Thorne, it could be any number of chemical concoctions and I wasn’t about to discover the side effects. Taking hold of the tubing, I ripped it free. The motion sent another shot of agony through me. A pained cry escaped my lips. 

“You cannot remove the IV, your body needs fluids!” Dr Amari exclaimed, rushing  around to the other side of the bed as she attempted to restrain me. I couldn’t think straight. Pure, animalistic instinct gripped me, telling me to get out. The room began to spin, Dr Amari and the clinic turning into a whirlpool of color before my eyes, replaced by a figure with hellish green eyes and a wickedly twisted grin. It was her. Thorne had come back for more.

 

————————

 

Nate and Hancock waited in a small, secluded cranny away from the rest of the Memory Den’s guests. Hancock leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “Any idea who could of done this?” The ghouls face was hard, his thin lips pressed tightly together.

Nate couldn’t be certain, but one person in particular came to the forefront of his thoughts. He cupped his chin in his hands and began pacing as he spoke. “There was a woman with her that day in the city. I wouldn’t exactly call her stable either.” 

“Really.” Hancock mused. “What’d she look like?” Nate proceeded to describe the woman in question. From her long, chocolate hair and venomous eyes to her volatile behavior, Nate spared no detail. Hancock listened carefully, the lines on his forehead growing in number as Nate went on. “This ain’t good, my man.” He kicked off the wall, his hand falling to the butt of his shotgun.

“You know who it is?” Nate asked, ceasing to pace as he eyed his friend wearily.

Hancock thought for a moment, then began to nod slowly. “Yea, and if she was acting all buddy buddy with your damsel in distress, well.. then that ain’t no damsel, that’s a raider.”

As if on queue, a woman’s shriek rang out, bouncing off the wooden walls of the den. Hancock and Nate made a b-line for the clinic, their weapons gripped in their hands. The wailing continued as they stomped down the stairs. As they arrived on the scene, they were stopped dead in their tracks. The woman had come to, and was backed into the corner of the office, her face pressed against the wall and buried beneath thick black locks. “What more could you take from me?” She cried, her voice hoarse. “Why couldn’t you just let me die!” All around her were tattered scraps of bloodied white gauze. She had torn the bandages from her arm and neck. The angry burn wounds oozed blood, which ran freely and had begun to soak her white gown. She held something metallic in her hands. 

“Damn.” Nate muttered beneath his breath.

 

—————-

 

I clutched the bone saw tightly, though I couldn’t keep my hands from shaking like crazy. I had seen what the fire had done to me. From beneath my eye, down the side of my face, my neck, my shoulder, halfway down my arm, the soft tissue had been seared away. It was replaced by disgusting scorched flesh. I looked like a monster. Permanently disfiguring me hadn’t been enough for Thorne. Now she had me trapped inside this box. I didn’t know what she could possibly be planning, but I’d sooner slit my own throat then endure another moment of it.

I noticed two figures at the far end of the room. The world around me was spinning so fast, I couldn’t make them out in any great detail but I did see they were carrying guns. “Stay away from me!” I barked, pointing the bone saw at them threateningly. I couldn’t see Thorne anymore. Whether I was losing my mind or she was toying with me, I couldn’t be sure. I was just anticipating the moment when she would pop out and attack.

Amari, who had been standing a few feet in front of me, turned back to look at the intruders with disapproval. “Put those things away!” She scolded. The figures looked at one another, then slowly holstered their weapons. Amari gestured for one of them to come forth. I held the handle of the saw tighter, ready to strike if the approaching figure came too close. “This is the one that rescued you.” The doctor explained. “Do you remember him?” The man’s face began to materialize as he drew nearer to me. 

My jaw dropped as I fell into those familiar steel eyes. The spinning ceased, my mind coming to an abrupt halt before slowly kicking back up to its usual pace. “It’s you.” I whispered, the saw clattering to the floor. “Why, why would you-“ I couldn’t find the words to finish. Now I knew for certain that Thorne wasn’t lurking in the shadows somewhere, waiting to attack. I had survived thanks to the man I was supposed to execute, and he had saved me despite that fact.

“No one will hurt you here, I promise.” He said. I believed him. There was something in the way he spoke, how he carried himself, that just made you want to trust him. “Now let Dr Amari help you.” He held out his hand and I took it immediately. It was cool and comforting against my burning skin. He lead me back to the bed, his eyes never once leaving mine as I sat down. He took up a seat at the side of the bed as Dr Amari hooked me back up and re-wrapped my burns.

I learned that his name was Nate. He introduced me to his companion, Hancock, who looked at me with distrustful black eyes as he came forward. I didn’t have much experience dealing with ghouls. I had taken out a few through my scope, but had never been this close to one before. It was a little unnerving, though his ridiculous attire did put me more at ease. With a shabby old red coat and tricorn hat, he looked like he’d stepped straight out of one of those old pre-war textbooks. 

Nate shrugged off Hancock’s cold greeting and continued talking. He spoke about the town he’d carried me to, Goodneighbor, a haven for freaks and weirdos. With the new look I was sporting, it sounded as if I was going to fit right in. Then he began to ask questions. I couldn’t help but shut down. “I can help get the people who did this.” Nate took my hand in his. The last thing I thought I would want was physical contact with another person, but his touch made me feel at ease.

“They will kill you.” I explained, shaking my head. “Trust me, I know what they’re like.”

“Because you’re a raider too, huh?” Hancock cut in, his words dripping with venom.

I fixated on the ghoul in surprise. How would he possibly know that? “W-what?” I stammered. The heart rate monitor began to pick up speed, betraying my inner turmoil. 

“That’s what I thought.” Hancock’s face darkened as he received his answer.

“Isn’t everyone welcome in Goodneighbor?” Nate leaned back in his chair and gave his ally a questioning look.

“Gotta draw a line somewhere.” Hancock retorted, his face as cold as stone.

“You don’t know anything about me.” I glared up at him, my hands balling into fists as the heart monitor’s beeping grew even more rapid. The ghoul crossed his arms defiantly, opening his mouth to fire back.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Dr Amari butted in, rushing over to the monitor. “No more chatter for today, the patient needs rest.” I was already regretting ever doubting the doctor’s intent. 

Nate sighed loudly, his shoulders slumping as he stood. “Alright, alright.” He raised his hands in surrender at Amari. “We’re going.” Satisfied, the doctor spun away and headed over to her desk. Nate shifted his gaze back on me, a crooked smile forming on his lips. “I’ve had people try to kill me for more than 200 years. I’m not afraid of a bunch of raiders.” He winked before turning on his heels and departing. Hancock followed suit, but not before giving me one final disapproving look as the sound on my heart monitor slowed. I still didn’t understand how he knew I was a raider to begin with. Even so, had I not suffered enough to have that word washed clean from me? At least I was safe. I had escaped the Nightstalkers, though it had cost me more than just a little burned flesh. Some scars weren’t so easily seen.


	5. Babysitting

I glared at the face staring back at me. Days had passed, each bringing slightly less pain than the previous one. The damaged flesh remained, a permanent reminder of the worst night of my life. My hand gripped the handle of a bristle brush as I aggressively tore the tangles from my hair, combing it over the left side of my face. “That’s how you get split ends, you know.” I jolted from the sudden break in silence, my hand slamming down to my side, knocking against a glass as it went. The cup toppled over and water spilled out onto my gauze wrapped arm. Nate quickly appeared at my side, reaching out a hand but I stopped him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Nate made a point to visit me every day. For the passed two weeks, he and Dr Amari had been my only company. He never talked much about himself. The main goal of his visits were always to get more info on the Nightstalkers. I still didn’t really understand why he wanted to help me. He had nothing to gain from it. He didn’t give much of a reason beyond the fact that they were bad people. I suppose that was as good a reason as any. “Thanks, but split ends are the least of my worries currently.” I replied, tossing the brush down on the table. I noticed he held a decrepit cardboard box under his arm. I gave him a quizzical look.

He smiled crookedly as he strode forward and offered it to me. “Just a little gift for your release.” Nate explained.

“My release?” 

“Tomorrow morning. You can’t stay in the clinic forever, and I doubt you want to keep running around in a hospital gown.” Nate looked pointedly at the box. I took it and sat it down on the table before popping open the lid. Inside sat a neatly folded vault suit, but it wasn’t in it’s typical blue color. Nate had taken the liberty of dyeing it midnight black. The vault’s numbers had been removed and the fabric was much thicker than the average suit. “Ballistic weave.” He said, tugging at the cloth. “It’ll make it much more durable without weighing it down.” It was easy to see how proud he was of his work. He was like a child showing of his latest toy. 

In my entire life, I had never been given anything, let alone by a stranger. It was difficult to put into words how such a gesture made me feel. Here stood a man I hardly knew, and he’d already given me more than my own parents. “Thank you.” It was all I could manage. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Nate said, patting me on the arm. “So. You thinking of hanging around Goodneighbor?” He slid into Dr Amari’s chair, slapping his heavy boots down on the desk with a thud. 

“Yea, right.” I rolled my eyes, words were dripping with sarcasm. “The mayor would be thrilled with that prospect.” Mr John Hancock hadn’t made an appearance since our first meeting. I hadn’t expected one, of course. He did a good job of making his feelings about me known. I pulled the jumpsuit out of the box and began unfolding it. The fabric was cool and sleek beneath my fingertips.

Nate’s deep chuckle reverberated off the clinic walls. “He’s a good man. He cares about his people. You should try and get on his good side.” Nate and I had different definitions of a ‘good man’. To me, he seemed like a dick. Nate noted my distasteful expression at his suggestion. “I have some personal business I need to handle. So I won’t be around for a while.” 

My stomach lurched. “You’re leaving?” I tried to mask the panic in my voice. I didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t know how to be on my own anymore. “Can’t I come with you?”

Nate sighed and shook his head. “You’re not even fully healed yet.” His eyes darkened. “Besides, I have to do this on my own.” I had never heard him sound so deathly serious before. It sent a chill down my spine.

Nate said his goodbyes and left the clinic, promising to return once his business was settled. I didn’t know what kind of danger he could be walking into, but I was more concerned for his adversary than for him. Nate could more than handle himself. Though I hardly knew him, I could say that with certainty. It was one of the things I admired about him. He seemed so capable, like nothing could take him down. I wished that I had that level of confidence.

Once I was alone, I began unraveling my wet bandages. Usually, Dr Amari assisted me with replacing old gauze, but she had already left for the night. I was going to have to learn to do it myself anyway. I stared down at my shoulder, my fingers gently grazing the seared flesh. It hurt, but I couldn’t stop myself from continuing. I had to be sure it was really part of me, this new reality. It was definitely real.

I took a steadying breath as I held a fistful of gauze in one hand and began wrapping it around my arm with the other. I made it about halfway up my arm before realizing it was too loose. Groaning in frustration, I undid my work and started again, only to realize that I had been spreading the gauze too thin, leaving parts of my burn uncovered. “Get it together, Raven.” I scolded myself. How hard could it be to dress a wound? I wasn’t this helpless. 

For the third time, I wrapped the gauze. It still wasn’t as good of work as Dr Amari, but it would do. All I needed now was the tape. I held the end of the bandage in place as I searched the table. Besides the old brush, a pair of scissors and my overturned cup, the table was empty. Anger erupted inside of me, as I slapped at the contents, sending them clattering to the ground. As quickly as it had came on, the anger faded. My legs caved as I sank to my knees. I let go of the gauze and watched it unravel. What was happening to me? It was just some stupid bandages, why was it so incredibly frustrating? It was late, I reasoned. I was just exhausted from the day, that was all. 

I rose to my feet, ready to search for the missing tape until I realized I had another visitor waiting at the foot of the stairs. Hancock leaned against the banister, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. “Need some help with that?” He indicated to the gauze on the ground. 

What was with this guy? The last time I saw him, he basically told me I wasn't welcome in 'his' town. Now he was offering up his assistance. I could tell by the way he looked at me that he didn’t have any positive thoughts about me. The last thing I wanted was help from someone like him. I held my eyes on him for a brief moment before replying firmly. “No.” I snatched up the gauze and continued my search, paying him no mind. 

“Hey, whatever you say, sister.” He replied nonchalantly. He took a long drag on his cigarette, releasing the smoke from his mouth slowly. “I know Amari’s lettin’ you go tomorrow so I thought it was only right to extend the Goodneighbor welcome.” I stopped searching to give him my attention. “Everyone’s welcome. Even you.” He tossed his fag to the ground and snuffed it out beneath his boot. “But the gutters around here start running any redder and I’ll know who to come for, ya dig?”

This guy had a lot of nerve, trying to intimidate me. I had spent the last few years allowing people step all over me, I wasn’t letting him add his name to the list. I rolled my eyes as I retorted sarcastically. “How gracious of you, Mr. Mayor.” I went back to scanning the room with no sign of the tape.

Hancock watched me in silence as I moved around the room, searching Amari’s desk, the table, the bed, all with no luck. I returned to my table, slamming my hands down on the sides. I was beginning to grow frustrated once more when I heard Hancock sigh. He kicked off the banister and strode over to me, stopping a few inches away. His lids drooped as he crouched down then reappeared almost immediately, a roll of bandage tape in his hand. It must have fallen when Nate startled me. I averted my gaze from him, embarrassed by my brash behavior. “Listen. I ain’t your babysitter.” He sat the roll down on the table. “You're welcome to stay here, but you’re on your own now, raider.” He spun around, he coat trailing in an arch behind him as he left. 

Once I was sure he had gone, I grabbed hold of the tape, rewrapped my arm and secured it. I shambled over to my bed, flopping down onto the mattress. Hancock’s message replayed in my mind. Starting tomorrow, for the first time in a long time, I would be on my own. The thought of it wasn’t letting me find sleep any easier but eventually, due to pure exhaustion, I drifted off.

 

~~

 

I could hear the crackling of a fire. The back of my lids lit up and as I cracked open my eyes, I was temporarily blinded by the brilliant light. Fire surrounded me from all sides, the flames moving and twisting until it formed into an enormous maw, snapping and growling as it locked its lifelike gaze on me. I tried to turn away from the beast, but my body refused to obey my urgent command. Over the roaring inferno, I heard a voice. “You’re a stubborn little thing, aren’t you?” Despite the immense heat, my blood froze in my veins as Thorne appeared, walking right through the fire, completely unharmed. Her poisonous eyes looked me up and down, a delicate finger tapping at her blood red lips. “Love the new look, by the way.” Thorne’s mocking laughter filled me with rage. I tried to respond, but my mouth refused to open. Thorne’s brows rose as her knife manifested in her hands. She held the flat side of the blade in front of my face. 

Through the shining metal, I could see an image of myself. The terrified scream I released reverberated off the confinements of my mouth. My lips had been melted together. I opened my jaw as wide as possible, the skin stretching like elastic, but remaining fused shut. The once pale skin of my face was now blackened and charred, my hair had been singed away. Stifled shrieks continued to echo inside of my mouth, I fought against my own body, trying desperately to move. I remained completely still. Thorne ran her blade down the side of my face. I could feel my papery flesh peeling away beneath it.

The fiery monster howled with anticipation and Thorne looked upon it lovingly, the way a mother would at her child. “You didn’t think I would just let you get away from me, did you?” She stepped aside as the hulking beast drew nearer. My nostrils flared as I fought for air, the billowing smoke emitting from the fire beast threatening to suffocate me. “No one escapes the Nightstalkers, Ravey.” The beast lurched forward, opening its mouth wide as it crashed into me, consuming me in flames.

 

~~

 

I gasped for air as I jolted upright. The sheets beneath me were soaked in sweat and my heart was beating out of my chest. Even in sleep, I couldn’t find peace from the Nightstalkers. I fumbled around for the light switch and flipped it on, bathing the room in a dim glow. There was no way to tell what time it was in the clinic, but I wasn’t finding any more sleep anyway, so I decided that I might as well get up.

Pulling off the papery dress, I tossed it on the bed and pulled my jumpsuit from its box before sliding it on. It fit perfectly, like wearing a second skin. Nate had done an amazing job.

I glanced around the small room. It occurred to me that I had no belongings to pack up, nothing to take with me. So I suppose I could just..go. I made my way to the stairs, hesitating at the first step. This was it. Just as Hancock had said, I was on my own after I left the clinic. Still unsure of what that even meant for me, I swallowed the insecurities away and continued moving until I left the Memory Den. 

The air was crisp as I stepped outside. It was still dark, perhaps early morning hours and there were dozens of people milling about. There was a trio of ghouls ahead of me. They were all sporting matching attires: white button shirts, black vests and slacks. A heavy cloud of smoke sat above their heads as they spoke in hushed voices to one another, taking puffs on their cigarettes periodically. One of them noticed me and nudged their companions. They ceased their chatter to watch me suspiciously, their eyes roving over my face. The urgent need to get away from them was the only thought in my mind. I couldn’t stand having so many pairs of eyes on me. I needed a moment to breathe and compose myself. There was an alley on the other side of the Memory Den. I made my way for it, ducking my head low as I passed near the crowd. The narrow path was heavily littered with garbage that had been stacked along the sides of the walls. At the end of the alley there was a simple white, unassuming door. 

I took a deep breath as I pressed my forehead against the cool brick, calming myself down. As I began to wonder what my next move should be, my stomach answered for me with a loud rumble. I should have asked Hancock where I could get something to eat.

No, chastised myself. I didn’t need him to help me. I could figure this out on my own. I turned to exit the alley, only to find that it had been blocked off by the group of ghouls. “You look lost.” One of them said, taking a step toward me, his hand slipping into his pocket. I instinctively backed away as a sense of foreboding shook me. The rest of his friends held sinister expressions on their faces. You didn’t have to be a genius to know these men were up to no good. He noticed my trepidation and frowned. “What? I’m just bein’ friendly. There ain’t no reason to be afraid.” 

“I’m not afraid.” My voice cracked. Despite that, I stood tall, meeting his gaze.

The ghoul smiled, his crooked blackened teeth peeking out through chapped lips. “Good, good.” His hand emerged from his pocket, holding another cigarette. He offered it to me but I promptly declined. With a shrug, he popped it into his mouth.  He peeked up at me, bemused. “Got a light?” His friends snickered behind him. I felt a twinge of anger bubble inside of me momentarily. I slowly shook my head, my mouth forming into a hard line. “Figured as much.” He brought out a lighter from his other pocket. “I was wonderin’ how a pretty little thing like you ended up with a scar like that.” I had to swallow down the bile that had risen in my throat. There was something about being called pretty by this goon that made my skin crawl. He flipped the lighter open and started the flame in one quick motion. “You like playin’ with fire, babe?” He mockingly swayed the lighter back and forth in front of me before bringing it up to his cigarette. His buddies joined in on their leaders badgering, chuckling among themselves at my expense. “Don’t worry about it, babe. You still got half a decent face. That’s all I need.” He gave me a wink.

My anger boiled over. I felt the heat rising in my body, my hands clamping into fists at my side. “Fuck you.” I spat, shoving my way passed him and his flunkies. 

“Hey! We ain’t done here!” One of the ghouls latched to my wrist with a bruising tight grip as he attempted to yank me back. I crashed into his chest, and his arms quickly wrapped me in a tight embrace. I fought against his hold, my legs kicking backward for his shins. There was a quiet commotion between the ghouls before my attacker’s grasp fell away as quickly as it had found purchase. I took my opening and made a few quick hops forward, widening the distance between us before I spun around to face them. The men had turned tail, and were quickly making their way for the white door at the end of the alley. I watched their retreat in utter confusion. They didn’t even bother to glance behind them before disappearing into a black room and promptly shutting the door. 

I took in the scene surrounding me. There were still dozens of people around, though none of them seemed to show any interest in what had been unfolding. I saw nothing to elicit such a reaction from the thugs. That was until I saw a familiar ghoul relaxing casually on a nearby bench, his sights set on the alley. There was a woman at his side clad in metal armor, her face covered in soot and scars. A machine gun as big as her was resting on the ground at her feet. Hancock’s eyes fell on me. There was something about his silent smugness that infuriated me beyond belief. Why a group of ghouls was so frightened by the sight of him was beyond me. There were several emotions that rose within me when I saw the mayor, and fear was not among them. I didn’t make any indication that I was grateful to him, or that I even noticed he was there at all. The roaring of my stomach brought me back to my task. Food was on my top list of priorities, so I set my sights on continuing to explore Goodneighbor. I made a point to not so much as glance the mayor’s way as I passed. A bunch of low lives might fear and respect him, but I didn’t. I didn’t ask for his help and I didn’t want it. 


End file.
